Since you left, my lonely days came back. I have to adapt to it for a while. However, I never like it, because I am a cat.
Do you know anything about cat? I think you do. Cat likes to be alone for a while, but also likes to be with the people he trusts or loves. I guess you're also a cat person. Everyday, you enjoy your reading time alone, but you would like to spend one hour per day with me too.
Every time when I passed the same coffee and tea shop and the restaurant in the corner we had been to before, I could still see us. We're still laughing and enjoyable being pairing. The best timing we had here. We were more like two cats, indulging us with the spring sun and nice food during the weekend.
Now, I am a loneliness cat here. I would rather pass the restaurant quickly and do my quick shopping in the coffee shop. No facial expresses on me. I don't want to show any sadness on my face. I prefer to be cold and ignored.
I could hear the wind sigh everyday since you left. I try to convince myself not to fall in love with you. My rational mind tells me you will not stay with me, because of all the problem in front of us. I am not the right person for you. I made myself at such difficult situation. I made myself crying sometimes too. I try to be hard to myself.
Because I love you, I would like to believe what you told me, and I want to love you with my whole heart. Then, I torture myself everyday, because I don't deserve it and I am not allowed to.
I am afraid that it's only a dream. You're just a person in my dream. The days we spent together was just a dream.
Now the distance between us is so far away but also be so close. I could read your words and hear your voice from my laptop, but I can't feel your body warmth and touching of you anymore. Then the feeling vanishing so fast, I can't remember your smelling and the feeling of your skin. How did we kiss? How did we hug? How happy we were? Everything is gone from my mind.
We are walking on a flimsy wire, which is as fragile as cobweb. Any time we could fall, or the wire would disconnect.
We fly high in the sky with lots of happiness and joy. Then we fall to the ground and my heart is speared to death.
